Sunday, June 26, 2011

I was reading some of my own archives last night. I know, I know. Solipsistic much? Damn, I used to crack myself up. I read the Mr. Snoochy post again, and had tears in my eyes just remembering it, and seeing the picture of The Snooch.

I am over being depressed. My hair's red again. I've been going to yoga. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm back. But I'm most assuredly on my way.

It was actually The Mexican who started me a'ponderin'. He said that since Smang moved back to Jersey, I just haven't been the same. I lost my compatriot, and it shook my foundation pretty hard. Then, the universe piled a whole metric ton of crap on top of that. And I came apart. Obvs, the Heather at the end won't be the Heather she was in '05. Because it isn't '05 anymore. But the good parts? Those are coming back.

I mean, let's not kid ourselves. '05 Heather had some greatness. But that is also The Time of The Flake, so there's plenty of awful, even way back then.

So, I'm slowly putting myself back together. It isn't necessarily the easiest journey, because The Mexican was right. When Smang went home, I lost a support system, and a true best friend. Never once when I needed her was she somewhere else, doing something else. And she relied on me, too.

But I am loathe to rely on anyone else in that same way. So, I am withdrawing and internalizing to deal. Over that now.

And to celebrate all this? Please believe me, the lollipop tat is coming soon. And maybe some other big changes. Stay tuned.

I mean, I only drank two Dr Peppers tonight at work. A whole new world, people.