Dear Lady Who Flipped Me Off at Exxon:

Fuck you, too. No, seriously. I don't have enough indignities in my life, what with waiting tables in my mid-thirties and being excited that gas prices have tumbled to $3.50 a gallon? First you made a face at me, and then gave me the finger. For what perceived transgression?

Let me explain to you how this works: People who are getting gas pull up next to the pumps (it makes it so much easier to transfer the gas from the pump to your car that way). People who are getting 52 ounce sodas and Fun Sized Flaming Hot Cheetos have ample parking spaces to use. Don't get pissed at me because you chose poorly. I am sorry that you wanted to cut between pumps 6 & 7. But, as I was aligning my gas side with the gas pumps in the manner desired by both VW, who put my gas tank on that side, and Exxon, who alloted the between the pumps space for cars using pumps, I was using all that space.

In conclusion, I hope you get heartburn from your horrible snack.

Suck it,
Heather