I bought a new deodorant today. I'll admit that I fell for the packaging, and its name: Secret Clinical Strength - Marathon Fresh. I was thinking to myself, "self, it's called Marathon Fresh. It will keep you fresh, even if you've run a marathon." The logical thought here would be "who the hell smells fresh after a marathon", but logic isn't exactly my forte, now is it? So I bought it. Because, I need to not stink in my underarm regions. I raise my arms a lot, for both my jobs. I want to smell pleasant if there is going to be any odor at all. So I bought this deodorant. (MARATHON FRESH!)

I put it on after my shower tonight. Um, I know that Secret's tagline used to be "Strong enough for a man, made for a woman." I'm afraid they've taken it to someplace along the lines of "Secret: we put flowers and pastels on the packaging, and use a scent akin to cheap men's aftershave." I totally smell like a dude! A 14-year-old dude, about to go on his first date. I kept trying to convince Smang to smell me. For some strange reason, she refused. She did go smell the package, and confirmed that it has a dude-like scent.

New plan: I'm going to get Botox in my pits. That's bound to better than this.