Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Since I work in wine, I see my fair share of drunk people. Being well-versed in the Texas Alcholic Beverage Commission's rules, I do not serve drunk people. So, when a couple stumbled over to my restaurant from the Mexican joint directly across the street, I should have known better. But I did not greet the table myself. My friend, Steph, did. As I went out to get to the table, she met me halfway. "Two waters and one Amstel" she tells me. This lets me know a couple of things. 1) she can also see their obvious impairment and 2) a certain type of person goes to a wine bar, but doesn't like wine. We hear it a lot. "What do you have that's not wine?" Umm...we have 50 wines by the class, and we change those about once to twice a week. We have 350 different bottles available. Our window, our rug out front, hell our restuarant itself, all are letting you know that we are a wine bar. So, people who only want beer are already not happy with what my establishment has to offer. It is my job to make people happy. I take out their two waters and the guy's beer. I am glad I didn't greet the table, because they wouldn't even have gotten that. The guy's not in too bad of shape, but the woman is wasted. I figure "eh, it's not too long until we close anyway", and leave them to their lovey-dovey conversations. After about 30 minutes, the guy asks for the check. I take his money and go make change. As I walk back toward the table, change in hand, I see the intoxicated woman put her head on the edge of table, and proceed to vomit EVERYWHERE! On their table, on her jeans, on her shoes, on the sidewalk...seriously y'all. So, I drop the change to the gentleman, with nary a word. I walk back inside, wet a napkin, and go give it the gentleman. I say nothing to the woman. Puking is bound to be humiliating enough. Being so wasted that you can't even get up from the table to get sick in the bathroom, well, there's no need for me to rub salt in her wounds. Except she isn't embarrassed. She doesn't even seem to mind that she now reeks, and is still sitting in vomit. The guy tipped me 110% ($6 tip on a $5 tab). Rather than take his inebriated lady-friend home, or even to the restroom, the couple sits at the table. They remain at the table for another 20 minutes. And rather than being repulsed by her display, he seems to not mind. The two of them sit there, cuddling for a while. She's talking all sweet to him , ("I loveyousomuch baby. You're so fine.", and rather than remove her vomit-tinged face from his own, he lovingly strokes her hair. Of course, there's sick in her hair, too. Ugh. When they got up, the busboy and I threw two buckets full of sanitizer on the table, the chair and the sidewalk. *shudders*