Thursday, June 15, 2006

I have been getting a lot of questions about my dating life lately. Please allow me to clarify: I will not be dating for one year (or 52 weeks, or 365 days or however you want to think of it). Here's the thing: I've had a string of crap relationships. They've all imploded for one reason or another. The only thing that is the same about these relationships is me. Therefore, I must be the problem. I have never been without a significant other, from the time I was 16 to, well, now. Actually, May 1st is when I started counting the year. I have to have to be able to like myself before anyone else can like me. I want to be able to go out to dinner by myself. I want to go to the movies by myself. I want to go on a vacation by myself. I want to be good company, and I think I should start that with me. I think there is a lot of pressure, especially toward women who are my age, to get coupled up and get with making babies. And for the life of me, I cannot see that in my future. Smang has said she'll get married again. Everyone I know who is divorced believes that they will eventually remarry. I just don't see it happening again. And it's not like marriage is evil or I'm vehemently opposed to the tradition or anything. I did once, and I fucked it up, so why on earth would I go do that all over again? I wanted The Ex to be someone he was not, and he wanted to be married to his mom (in my wholly unprofessional therapist opinion). He's not a bad guy, he just was not the right guy for me. In the immortal words of Garbo, now I just "vant to be alone".

So, here's to my year of singleness. Wish me luck!