I'm going to a wedding in Hill Country this July. I was booking a bed & breakfast in a nearby location. They have all these couples packages and whatnots, but I am not part of a couple. It'll just be me. I'd take Lucy, but there's a lameass "no pets" policy.

So, I was talking to the lady, and she was telling me that for a small bit more money, they can do a couple's massage, bottle of champagne and some chocolate-covered strawberries.

"Oh cool, can you do that for just one person?"

"What do you mean, ma'am?"

"Can I just get a massage for me. I'm traveling alone. I dig champagne. I enjoy both chocolate and strawberries. Can I book that package, but just for one person?"

"But, it's a couples package."

"Right, can't I just get one massage, with the booze and the fruit?"

"But, it's meant for two people..."

"Can I not just get one massage, and a 1/2 order of the strawberries? That's not a possibility?"

"Um..."

"You know what? I'm just gonna book online. Thanks for everything."