story of awesome:

Almost two weeks ago, I was home after a long day at the office. I was chilling on the couch, watching some Tivo and doing what I do (you know, painting my nails), when there was a knock on the door. I am not in the habit of receiving visitors at nearly 4 in the morning. I am not in the habit of receiving visitors period, really. So, I grabbed the MagLite that is kept next to the front door for protection and illumination purposes, and looked out the window onto my well-lit porch. It was the Neighbor Girl on the Right. She's recently moved in, she's a single mom, and works the same hours I do. I opened the door. She seemed distressed.

"My cat got out and I can hear her meowing when I call her name. Is she in your yard?"

"Let's go check", I replied, and out we went. Me in my slippers and her in her obvious distress. If Uly got out, I'd be distressed, too. So, we took the MagLite and looked all over my backyard and up in the trees separating our property. While we were out there, everytime NGotR said the kitty's name, there would come a plaintive reply meow. I assist in the search for about 20 minutes, and then, when there is nothing else I can do, I come back inside.

Cut to late night, some six days later. I get home from work, and as I'm getting out of the car, I hear the same plaintive meow. It's the NGotR's kitty. I go get my big ol' flashlight and some kitty treats. I go outside, and call the kitty's name. As I am traipsing through neighboring yards at almost 1 in the morning. Holding a flashlight. And coming in from work, so wearing black tank top, black pants, black socks and black non-slip shoes. I see the kitty. She's on the roof of the duplex two doors away. I stand under a tree, and shine my light on her little face.

"Here kitty kitty kitty. Just get in the tree. I will catch you!" She actually hops in the tree. Oh shit. I go knock on NGotR's door & when she answers I blurt out that I know where kitty is and do you have a ladder, because I think we can get her!

She does not have a ladder. What we decided to do was pull her Ford Explorer under the tree, I'd climb it, hop up in the tree, grab the kitty and then, we'd celebrate.

There are a couple of things I didn't consider. Such as 1) a kitty who's been on a roof for almost 6 days is scared. And hungry. But mostly, scared. and 2) my outfit and 3) we didn't let the people whose house we climbing in on our kitty rescue plans.

So, I climb the s.u.v., hop up in the tree and climb up to where I can pet the frightened kitty. I give her some Greenies (those are my kitty's faves). She hungrily grabs them. I scratch her head. I go to grab her by her scruff, and she wiggles so instead, I have her by the spine. Then, she's angry, scared and hungry. She heads higher into the tree, and back onto the neighbor's roof. Again, she begins to wail.

"Oh, kitty kitty kitty, come back. I'm sorry. I have more treats. She inches back towards me. I give her more treats. I try again to grab her. Again, she runs away. Shit.

It's about this time that I remember that I am totally afraid of heights. Like a lot. And my heart starts to pound. And I say to NGotR, "um, I need to get down like right now."

And she says, "well, just hop onto the truck."

"Would now be a good time to mention that I'm afraid of heights?"

I have now got a death grip on the trunk of the tree. I shimmy out onto a branch, and start pleading with NGotR to "don't let me fall. Please don't let me fall. Please?" I take my legs off the tree, and beg her to steer my legs onto the roof of the car.

"Let go of the tree", she says.

"No, move your truck closer to the tree. DON'T LET GO! DON'T LET GO!"

"Heather, let go. You'll land on the roof." I sort of loosen the grip of the branch with my arms, and stretch my torso until my tiptoes reach the roof. And then, I touch down. And I let go of the tree. And then I slide off the roof, onto the hood, and get all the way on the ground.

"Made it!", I cheerfully exclaim.

My arms and thighs are scraped and bruised, and it took a guy neighbor with a really big ladder and Carhart jacket to get the damn cat off the roof.

I have told my cat this story twice now when he's meowed at the door. Sorry guy. You're an inside kitty.