Thursday, September 04, 2008

There it goes again. That thud in my chest. That lump in my throat. My cheeks feel like they're bright red. My ears are ringing. I cannot stand this. I am besieged by terror. Fear that is so large it's making me nauseous. I'm a reasonably intelligent person. Why will my brain not form words? I can't speak. I can't scream. All I can do is cry. And focus on breathing. It's the only thing I can hear now.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

My limbs feel leaden. My hands and feet are aflame with pins and needles. I squeeze my eyes closed tight. I open them. My mind races. Nothing changes.

I lay down to sleep, covered in sweat.