Wednesday, August 27, 2008

so, I ran last night at SMU. Noeliwicious and I each did 2 miles. At 12:30 in the morning, because that's when we got off work. I am falling apart. I had a charlie-horse in my yoga class yesterday, and while I was running, it fired up again. My knee once again felt like it was going to explode.

When I got home, I only wanted to take a cool shower and wash the day off. It's a tough thing to get the water temp just right, so that it's not too hot or too cold. I managed to work it out, Goldilocks stizz. I hopped in, and started to, you know, shower. I wet my sweaty hair. I lathered up. I put shampoo on my head. And then...

I turned around to aim my body under the stream and rinse off. I glanced down. In the back corner of the tub, on a plastic soap dish was a cockroach. He was massive. He wiggled his antennae at me. I'm pretty sure he hissed, too. Before I could consider an appropriate reaction, a scream escaped my body and I involuntarily leapt out of the shower. Smang came running down the hall. "What is it?" I struggled to get words out. Shampoo was running into my eyes. I was trying to cover parts of me since, just to reiterate, I was nekkid and soapy.

"It's a roach. A big one."

"k..." and she went to get the Dyson. It's our de riguer bug removal tool. I was rooted to the bath mat, shivering. Partly out of fear, partly out of coldness. Oh, and let's throw in some humiliation to boot.

She came back and began to unwind the cord and prep the Dyson for its chore. "Where is he?", she asked, quite calmly.

"in the back corner, on the soapdish. He...he...he waited 'til I was all vulnerable and then he attacked me. I think he has fangs. Be careful." I was still unable to move.

With military precision, Smang swooped in, and vacuumed up the monster. Then she quietly backed out of the bathroom. I cautiously stepped back in the shower to finish rinsing, at least.

When I was done and safely ensconced in my bathrobe, I came out to the living room. I sat on my couch. Smang was on her couch. She looked at me for a second and then said, "someday, we're going to a karaoke bar, and you're going to have to serenade me with Elton John's 'Someone Saved My Life Tonight.'"

Seems perfectly fair to me.