I am in Trinity, TX. I am actually on the Trinity River, which ends up in Dallas. I wish I was on the other end of this river. I love my family very much, but I don't know how much of this togetherness I can stand. Last night, everybody was getting pissy with everybody else. Jesus Horatio Christ! Can we remember that we're all here because our Grandma is a miracle? After all, we were supposed to be having her funeral today, and instead, we're going to sit at her house and have an early Christmas. I hope there will be food. Or at least more xanax.

I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait to get back to work. I miss sleeping in my bed. I miss seeing my regulars. I miss fat tips and good wine. I miss J & I making stupid jokes. "Naw, fuck dat. I don't like people playin' on my phone" I miss it all. It took me years to find a job that I truly loved. And I want to go back to that.

The flip side is that I hate the idea of leaving. I hate the idea of not being here. I hate the idea that my entire family is gathered, and I want to run away from them.

How can I miss them if we're always together?