Once again, Lucy disappeared in the back yard. When I called her name, she came running from the neighbor's yard. She had something in her mouth...something round. From a distance, it looked like the end of a rawhide. Yeah, not so much.

A SKULL! LUCY BROUGHT A FUCKING SKULL TO THE DOOR!

I don't what species it was. I took some pictures, but since I was all shaky and grossed out, they're all blurry. It could've been a cat. Or a small goat. I have no idea. It had very pointy teeth, whatever it was. And was about the size of a fist. And, just to reiterate, was IN LUCY'S MOUTH!

Luckily, The Habersnooches arrived at precisely that moment. I ran to the front yard, and yelled "I need you!" I gave Mrs. Habersnooch $30 to dispose of said skull, and to cleanse Lucy. Because I was too busy being a silly girl and screaming to actually handle the issue.

Lucy's so hungry from dieting that she's resorted to slaughtering small woodland creatures.