Dear Dave Brandes~
Hi. How's things? Me? Oh, I had a pretty fantastic night, thanks for asking. I made pretty great money. I got to have some fun with a hot guy. Not that kind of fun, you pervs. It started to rain at the end of the night, so even though I was the closer, I got to leave before everyone else. Which never happens to me. I am usually the last one out of there.

The point of this letter is this: I just wanted you to know that you're awesome. This is probably not news to you. You share a gene pool with Smang, and she's awesome too. But, you're awesome because I am posting from the dogcouch right now! Because I have totally reaped the benefits of living with your sister, and NOW I HAVE A LAPTOP! MY OWN LAPTOP! WOO the muthaphucking HOO!

So, to sum up, I can now be on the intertubes while I am in the bathroom. Or my bedroom. Or I can become one of the douches at Starbucks, working on my novel. Except I'll be working on this blahg.

These are the Daves I know I know I know
These are the Daves I know

To sum up: you're a fabulous person. Thank you for the laptop.

Do you want, like, one of my kidneys in exchange? Because that totally seems like a fair trade to me.

Gratefully,
Heather