SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE!
There was a snake in the living room. A "garden snake", I believe Smang called it. Underneath where I slept. He was coming right for me!
I don't care if it was a delicate porcelain mouse snake, snakes don't belong in the house. If this thing is truly a "garden snake", go put it in someone's garden. Smang tried to get me to look at him, and see how harmless he is. I told her I would punch her if she didn't get that goddamned thing away from me. If snakes are so harmless, why did she put on seriously thick suede gloves (those workman-style dealies) to remove said snake? I'll tell you why: TO PROTECT HER FROM BITES! She was a-skeered of getting bitten. I am not making fun. Believe me, I was totally afraid of being bitten, too.
That is why when I saw it, I went screaming down the hall, into her bedroom. She didn't even jump up, she's so used to dealing with my ridiculous fears. She just said "what is it?" Hee!
Okay, I feel like it might be safe to venture back out into the snake-affected area. Later, babies.