Dear Friends and Family~
Happy holidays to you, too. No, I sincerely mean it. Whatever you believe, may you have the best December possible.
Now, I have one small request. Please stop sending me food. I love it. I really do. The problem is that I love it. And I don't stop eating it. Especially the chocolate-covered caramel popcorn. Mother of pearl! It's so delicious. I can't be trusted to control myself around delicious snacks. So please, just send cards. Stop sending food.
Yours in Elastic-Waisted Pants,