wanted: One pair of lungs. Must be in good working order. No bouts of bronchitis or pnuemonia or upper respiratory infections. Ability to hold in smoke when not ill would be bonus. Prefer something pale pink. Must be able to get through apporximately 30 phone calls per day, yoga classes, chasing dogs, yelling at douchebag boyfriend, telling aforementioned dogs to get out of the kitchen, get out of the kitchen, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!, various cooking experiments, loud sing alongs in the car, the occasional road rage fit, and lots and lots of general conversation. All interested parties please be prepared to submit to background check, and a 30 days temp to hire position. Thank you so much, and I look forward to breathing again.