I'm a roller coaster. I'm up, then I'm down. I'm flush with cash, then I have $1.49 in my checking account. I have my act together, then I completely flake out on something. I want to be a grown-up with a grown-up job and a grown-up house. I want to sleep all day and live in a shoebox apartment, writing poetry and painting (no, I can't paint). I know what I want to do with my life. I have no idea what I'm doing tonight. It's so confusing. It's like split personality.

If you had a very good, very old (as in the age of the friendship, rather than the age of the friend) friend, who was say, writing fashion articles for a Houston glossy, you should tell him to write about these shoes. And get a sample in size nine. And also, these boots. And Zac Posen's spring 2006 collection, in a size 2. Oh! And also, yoga clothes. He should definitely write about yoga clothes. OH! and purses. Compare the usefulness of different fine bags. Yes, this is what he should do.

Alright, it's cookie time.