Picture it: Deep Ellum, Thursday night. Smang, The Mexican and I decided to go to eat at Monica's before the acoustic Bob Schneider show. Mmmm...margaritas and flautas! AG ordered some grilled jalepenos to accompany his delicious meal. He enjoys spicy foodstuff. As do I. So, using the obvious rational parts of my brain, I thought "Hey, how bad can it possibly be? He can handle it" Mistake numero uno: The Mexican is, well, a Mexican. Spicy is their thing.

So, I got some carnitas on my fork, and grabbed a 1/2 of a grilled jalepeno. Mistake number two. I didn't need that much. At first, it didn't seem so hot. It was delicious, actually. Flavorful and spicy. And then, something changed. Not wanting to let the others at the table in on what I had done to myself, I just kept chewing. Smang asked, "Is it really hot?" I shook my head no. "Really?" I tried to nod. She called me out. "Your eyes are watering, dummy." Unable to formulate verbs and nouns, I just started nodding. Then, I grabbed some tortilla. That didn't do it. My mouth and my throat felt like they were on fire. I drank the rest of my margarita, and 1/2 a Dr Pepper. Then I drank Smang's Coca-Cola. And then I sat there, feeling like my heart was on fire.

If I had tried hard enough, I could have thrown Dhalsim's yoga fire.