I wish I was creative. I don't actually create anything. I tell stories here. But they're stories from my life, so I am not creating these events. I am retelling them. I don't write songs. I have always said that I am utterly envious of songwriters, who are able to take a moment, be it their great pain or utter joy, and turn it into two minutes or so of something that other people hear and go "wow, I know exactly what that guy was feeling!" I can't cross paths with someone and come home, and write a story that could be told in 120 minutes, starring Julianne Moore and Greg Kinnear, where she finds redemption and you can see his soul when he smiles. I lack that ability.
Then again, every true artist I have even know or heard about was truly tortured.
Jackson Pollock revolutionized the art world, but he was a drunk who killed himself and another person while he was intoxicated behind the wheel. Ernest Hemingway won the Nobel prize in Literature, but he committed suicide when his depression finally overwhelmed him. So, maybe the ability to create art isn't worth pain that comes with the talent.